In the realm of dining, the solitary diner often faces a peculiar perception: the assumption that they are lonely or sad. However, this notion is far from the truth. The author, having owned a chain of restaurants, observes that those who dine alone are often the most relaxed and content individuals in the room. This phenomenon is rooted in the psychological distinction between solitude and loneliness, a distinction that many people struggle to make for decades. Solitude is a choice, a time alone that rejuvenates, while loneliness is a gap between the connection one desires and the connection one has, often living solely in one's head. The author argues that the ability to distinguish between the two is a skill that most people develop over time. The spotlight effect, a well-documented psychological bias, explains why people assume others are watching them when they are alone. However, research has shown that solo diners enjoy their meals just as much as those dining in pairs, and this pattern is consistent across different cultures. The author attributes this to the fact that solo diners have settled the solitude-versus-loneliness question for themselves, making them more comfortable with their own company. This, in turn, makes them better with other people, as they are not outsourcing their escape from their own heads. The author provides practical advice for those who want to try dining alone, such as starting with lunch or taking a seat at the bar. The key is to order something one actually wants, keep the phone in one's pocket, and picture the Barry Manilow shirt to remind oneself that no one is watching. In the end, the author finds that dining alone is not only enjoyable but also a great way to reconnect with oneself.
